Vacation Together or Watch Your Relationship Die

If the last time you both said “I do” was at your wedding (knowing you’re about to take a vacation together), it’s time to say “I do” to the most romantic, fun, sex-filled and memorable time together….and your best relationship saver!

Count on it to be there when you need erotic fantasies to break up the ordinary dreariness of life back at home.
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Expect it to help take the harsh edges off discussions which might burst into out-of-control arguments.
Rely upon it to be one helluva proven tonic to remind you of each other’s best attributes.

And, do you know what nearly every person says after they’ve done it: “Why don’t we do this more often?”

Why don’t you do it?

Once upon a time, life, lust, love and like came so naturally to the two of you. So what happened?

If you consider your relationship (i.e., marriage) more like a machine, this advice might not be for you, as machine parts are replaceable, which means either one (or, both) of you are not as essential as you think. Then again, any skilled machinist knows you’ve got to lubricate your machine, clean it up, give it a rest, and perform regular maintenance.
If you consider your relationship a living, breathing organism, what have you done for it lately? How have you cared for it? Fed it? Nourished it? Healed it? Like exercising your muscles, how have you stretched it? You don’t starve your body for days; you don’t avoid sleep, rest or any form of exercise. That would be ridiculous because you’d be your own loudest complainer, and you’d probably would not be a joy to be around, as your emotions and temperament would have huge mood swings.

Does your relationship need more work, a working vacation, or a work-less, play vacation? If you’re convinced your relationship needs continual tending, support, new additions and repair, how are you going to pull that off? It’s stressful to think we have a problem, and to seriously consider how we’re going to tackle and solve it. Whatever your choice, it’ll take effort and resources, unless you approach it from a ‘meh’ perspective. And this is true for millions of us. (But that doesn’t mean that’s wise or likely to be successful.)

After we’ve come to know each other some (the dating phase), many of us take our relationships for granted. Sure, we’re game to take off time for a short or long romantic holiday. We’re still new, curious and desirous of making sure we’ve chosen the right partner. (We’re all horny as hell for fun times and new adventures.) We’re OK with being silly, sloppy, sensitive, sexual, self-serving, self-less, self-sacrificing, soulful, sentimental and: responsive, reliable and rarely uninterested in each other. We have a boundless and positive attitude towards giving each other our very best.

Then…..life happens and we don’t know why our once-torried flame has nearly extinguished. It’s a slow slide into romantic autopilot:

We move in, marry, have kids, establish roots and routine. Since we’re in love, lust and like, we pretty much assume we’ll beat the odds and live happier ever after. (Yet, more than 70% don’t — 50% divorce rate PLUS 20% who live together unhappily ever after).

Sex isn’t everything (although it’s proven to be one helluva effective love-glue. If you want to make your marriage affair-proof, have a torrid affair with each other! Use your vacation to heighten your imagination to stimulate you then and there, and for all the days thereafter.

Laughter isn’t everything, but, aside from sex it’ll keep your hormones flowing, your interest in each other aroused by good feelings, and take the edge off things which need to be held in check.

Yet, the answer to keep us sexually, emotionally and spiritually connected has always been right there in front of us, and it’s so very easy to do IF we’re truly committed to commitment (and not just “commitment”, but a happy and healthy relationship).

Here’s why you and your relationship needs a vacation:

More and better sex! Let loose. Walk naked. Turn up the tunes. Open the shades. Put on a skimpy bathing suit. Oil each other down with sunscreen or massage oil. Sleep in and order in. Watch some erotica. Touch each other with the lights on and no concern about your moans, groans or bed noises. Get wild. Play games. Be bold.
Explore and be curious. Get to know each other by doing physical things you’ve not done before. ATVs. SCUBA (or, snorkeling). Look into caves, trails, country clubs (with guest privileges), gay bars, dancing clubs, bookstores (sections you have a fascination to look into), cycling, horseback riding, wine, beer or THC tasting. Your rule: If it crosses one of your minds, do it (even for just a little while).
Turn off your electronics. Phones, pads, computers. Anything except music. If you’re still worried about damage done to your kids, just tell your hotel’s front desk to contact you in case of an emergency. Use this time to do different things that previously disinterested you or might even cause you angst: Read erotica out loud. Strip tease. Reminisce about life during your dating time. Play a board game with new rules which favor your mate.
Eat and drink like you’re a Martian. Dine at cuisines you’ve never tried, been repulsed at, or just not in your usual routine. Ask for the owner, chef or most knowledgeable waiter. Tell ‘em you’ve not been a fan of this cuisine, but you’re now open to trying something spectacular: “Whaddya got that will blow away my taste buds and make me want to eat here all the time?” Do the same with appetizers, drinks and desserts.
Let someone else touch your mate naked (or, close enough). Get a couples’ massage; opposite or same sex. In your room or at their place. Go for 90-minutes because you might need the first 30 to really begin to relax. (BTW, so what if you get turned on. After all, you both know you’re going to pounce on each other soon enough…..)
Laugh a lot. Go to a comedy club. Sing (bad) karaoke. Play with your food on a picnic. Listen to Weird Al Yankovich. Watch a bad porno. Start a story and after 10-20 seconds your mate continues it; repeat until your story has made your sides and smiles hurt from cracking up with your goofiness, awkwardness, wit and wonder.
Commit to the one person who matters most. If you don’t do everything in your power to strengthen your relationship from the inside, out; outside, in; and every possible dimension, you’re placing your most valuable asset at mortal risk…..

Here’s how to make it a vacation to remember:

Ditch your kids. Without two emotionally stable parents who show and share how much they sincerely like and desire each other, what kind of role model are you setting for your children? Besides, who’s in charge of your household, anyway? Don’t be afraid to ask your relatives or close friends for a big favor when you need to go away for a weekend. The odds of your children getting hurt by lightning (or, a car, bullet, neighborhood bully, or whatever) are damn slim. Besides it’s good for them to bond with people you love and respect.
Start slowly. Vacation less than 90-minutes from home. Leave your contact information with your caretaker, but make certain you establish your Golden Rule: Call us only if you’re on your way to the emergency room.
Zone out. Be willing to consider these days (at least two full days and nights) to be experimental and experiential. Break patterns. Have fun. Do things unmanly or unchick-like.

Here’s the three things you must do while you’re still on vacation:

Commit to another you-only holiday. Don’t just say it: write it down (in a love card, piece of art you create, or a $100 bill). Be outrageous enough so you both remember. Be mindful you are committing to a new ritual which you two own.
Look into each other’s eyes and share something. By now you’ve felt differently: more excited, more at peace, more assured and more upset (that you’ve not done this frequently enough). So, while looking into each other’s eyes, say something which thrills you about your mate.
Make a visual memory. Take at least one sexy or romantic photo which you swear you’ll print and frame. If it’s really sexy, put it in your bedroom. If it’s the two of you with the biggest grin ever, place it where your kids can see how lucky they are to have a mom and dad who still turn each other on!

Here’s whack on the side of your head scientific proof why you need a regular vacation two-gether:

Marital research proves that happy couples do things differently than unhappy couples, and topping the list of things they do is take time for themselves by getting away from their regular lives with their own couple’s vacation.
Stress kills. Boredom, frustration and zoning out and away from each other kills any marriage slowly, surely and finally.
Taking control. Instead of letting your lives overwhelm you, you control you two. You two choose what to do, how, when and where to do it. Even if it’s just for 49.5 hours, it’s your 49.5 hours.